I don't know if it's always been like this or that I've just become aware of this lately, but I'm that person. That glue, that sticky-marshmallow-between-two-graham-crackers-paste, that stuff. That stuff that makes people feel relieved, alright, and almost always- happy.
When a new couple is testing out the unknown waters of their first public appearance as a "couple:" how nervous and hopeful they are, bent on touching the moon but scared out of their minds that it will just laugh and come crumbling down on top of them once they are fingertips away from holding it. I am the entertainment, so to speak. I break the awkwardness, with my goofy, around-the-world stories and imitations of others. I break the invisible veil of unsureness and insecurity and they laugh and sigh with more relief than they let appear. They take my entertaining bullshit as a concrete seal, silencing the questions and what-ifs that are written all over their unsteady body language, and let themselves be directed to the golden boulevard of "couple-dom." And you know, they don't even look back.
For some reason, my rising presence is the secret, unspoken hint of approval that they will be able to be a "them" at all. It's a big fucking deal. Well, not really, but I like to think it is. I mean, I could stop and just stand there and stare and be awkward and make them feel really uncomfortable. And for a split-second, they're both going to wonder if it's actually going to work, if it's actually worth it. I could do that. A split-second doesn't seem like that big of a deal in the big picture.
But actually, what so many people don't realize and will never know, is that the big picture is what it's all about. The big picture is when you've reached the moon and you look to your right and that person you've been hoping, dreaming, dying, dying, dying, to see- is right next to you, and you're holding and cradling each other. You're not able to say or do anything except just squeeze each other and let what is left unsaid pulse through your fingertips, over and over. And when you look them fully in the face, what you see in their eyes is more than all of the words you have read in your life. Pure euphoria. And you don't even realize where you are...until...you....look.....around... You look around and you see the whole world before you. The whole fucking world.
And that's why I can't help but do it. Because everyone deserves to find that whole, unruly, unfathomable feeling that only exists when you're over the moon.
"Two drifters off to see the world....There's such a lot of world to see."
